"Mommy, do you wike GOATS?"

Goats....or, ghosts to the rest of the world. Ellie is TOTALLY in love with all the Halloween decorations around town and at the stores these days. We have to go out several times a week to look at the "decowations"...she can't get enough. Her Poppy is feeding her habit ... so far he has bought her 3 pumpkins (2 regular sized ones and one "tiny,tiny" one), a light-up jack-o-lantern, a witch door cover, a scarecrow, and a candy bowl with a skeleton hand that tries to grab you. Last night, we played Potato Heads and she put all the pieces in the skeleton bowl so that she could laugh hysterically when it went after us. Good times!

She loves to hide lately as well. Nothing better. She's not very good at it though, because she can't quit giggling. That, and her feet are always sticking out. She's easy to find. :) She just has such a joyful spirit. My new Mommy prayer is that THAT spirit stays intact even as she navigates some of the bumps along life's road. That spirit is an invaluable gift. I trust God will guide me in guiding her, so that it may be preserved. I know HE will....what a precious being He created.

Halloween Ellie-isms:

"GOATS"--- ghosts, you know, like "Capper" the friendly Goats?
"Pive wittle punkin sit on a bine" -- I THINK this is a Halloween song from school.
"How my wook?" -- she says this when she gets into her costume...or her clothes or pjs for that matter. You're supposed to say "Beautiful, as always".

Sister Golden Hair Surprise...

Today is my sister's 35th birthday. She is, ahem...the Younger One. Actually, she is the youngest of the three of us. Poor thing...she has suffered for it. She was the one we used as a guinea pig -- like the time we busted her lip open trying a circus trick in the living room. She was my Solid Gold Dancer partner, the co-writer of our song lyrics (the LOOOOVE BOAT....a,a,a,a,a,at NINE O'ClOCK) <~~~only she will appreciate that one. She was my tag-a-long when I went to a friend's house, the baby when we'd play house, the one who always made Barbie and Ken kiss "like they do on soap operas".

She was BORN with her own mind and way of doing things. I remember the day she came home. I had prayed for a baby sister with blonde hair and blue eyes. I remember that vividly...when I said I wanted the baby to be a sister, my mother told me to pray to God and ask for that. So I did. And He listened, all except for the part where I wanted her to look just like my Mrs. Beasley doll. In hindsight, that is a good thing. He really does know what's best. But I got that baby sister, and with the exception of a few years from ages 12-18, I have been very happy to have her.

And, though we used and abused her status as the little one (she could always get Mom or Dad to relent on whatever the issue was at the time), often she has been the trailblazer of the family. The first to do many things....some even good! She is, and always has been, wildly ambitious and intelligent. When something gets into her head or heart that she wants to do, she will do it or die trying. I admire that in her. It can be frustrating from the perspective of cautious older sister...always scared she'll be hurt or disappointed. But admirable still.

Recently, this baby we've spent so many years protecting and loving tells us she's getting MARRIED. WHAAAAAT?!!!? My world just went upside down! This person, the same one who has denounced marriage and all it involves, is -- dare I say it, in LOVE? (She'll gag when she reads this!) Whoa.

See, in my mind, she's not old enough for this. She's still six years old, with long pigtails and no front teeth. She's still my baby. But, I am SO happy for her at the same time. I want so much for her. I want him to be everything to her in 50 years that he is today. I want them to have one of those marriages that people look at and say, "That's what I want." And, though I know that no one or nothing can prepare them for the roller-coaster that lies ahead, I know he is getting a partner who can handle anything. I hope she is, too.

I know she won't ASK me for any advice, but my genetics make it impossible not to give it anyway. So here it is:

Be kind to each other. Respect that he is not you and you are not him. Know that there is more than one way to do many things. Hold hands. Let the little things go. Walk away when all you can think of to say is something negative. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses. Pray for each other. Know that all humans will fail us eventually, but you can always turn to God. Laugh together often. Do things separately sometimes. Have your own friends. Tell the other that they are appreciated. Love the other's family. Listen to your gut--ALWAYS.

I love you, little sister. I hope I have been as good a sister to you as you have to me. I wish you all the happiness the world has to hold...today and always.

Mommy, you my best fwiend...

...that is what my daughter said to me today. Out of the blue, with no prodding. Not like all the times I make her say "I wuv you, Mommy". This was real -- from the heart. I had been away from her for most of the day and when I got home she climbed up on my lap, put her arms around my neck, and said it.

I read someone's blog who had said about their child, "she is the answer to the question 'Why?' ". Well said.

Recent Ellie-isms:

"Mommy Kafween!" -- a copy-cat version of the "you're in big trouble now" first-middle name combo all parents do. "Ellie Kathleen!" She said this to me when she got mad the other day.

"Stinkerbell Tickers" -- stickers are her currency these days. She gets so excited that she gets her consonants transposed. She loves "stinkerbell" ....and tickers.

"I nakied myselp!" -- when she took her clothes off by herself without permission. She was impressed!

Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. ~Author Unknown

Cooper Daniel Slayton

To my little boy:

Today marks two years since we said hello and goodbye to you. It doesn't seem possible that that much time has passed. To think you would be two years old now...amazing. I think about you every single day and wish I would have had more time to know you. I wish I could have spent this time watching you grow and learn and laugh. I will miss you everyday, and hope you knew how very much I love you.

Where did the summer go?

This morning, Mom and Dad left for WV to take my boys back to their Momma and a new school year. I miss them. We had a good, if LOUD, summer together. I always feel sad when they leave though, or when I have to leave them. No matter how much bickering, begging, and bargaining we had to wade through, I still loved having them with us for so long. Caden, Quinn, and I managed to slip away twice this summer to spend the day in Savannah. Had a great time eating at the Lady and Sons and taking a tour of the city. Another day we rode our bikes to Coligny Plaza to shop and get ice cream (Superman for Quinn, Sponge Bob for Caden). Many trips to the pool and beach, working at the bakery, and watching Alf reruns (a new one to them!)...they are my buddies, that's for sure.

There were issues, too. Don't be fooled....thirteen is a WHOLE NEW kind of OBNOXIOUS these days. And eight-just-turning-nine is no walk in the park either. We butted heads a few times, but that's par for the course I'd say.

I have some good memories of this summer, and I think they do too although they missed their home and friends. I now know what a Webkin is and can tell you all kinds of interesting details about various rock bands.

I love that I got to see Caden earn money to buy himself a new bass. He was so proud of it. I hope he learned how satisfying it is to work hard for something you want. I love that I got to see Quinn happily eating a chocolate ice cream cone one day in Savannah, totally unaware that it was all over his sweet little face -- it made me so happy that he is still little enough not to notice or care, but to just be able to laugh, totally oblivious to the rest of the world for that moment. These moments are too fleeting.

They were excited to go home, but a little sad too I think. That's understandable. Life is full of moments like that. Bittersweet. I think that's the hardest place to be in.

I love you, my boys. Have a good first day of school. Call me and sing "Why do you love me..." in your best Kip Dynamite voice. Be good and do your best.

Come back soon.

Practice what you preach

For those who don't know, I have spent my career until very recently in the business of educating young children and their parents. For many of those years I was either a preschool director or teacher. The beginning of a new school year meant new students and parents who were apprehensive about the prospect of leaving or being left in a strange place with people they didn't yet know. I was the one who tried to calm their fears. I was the one who told the children that their mommy would always come back. I was the one who wondered, "Why don't these parents just LEAVE so we can get on with our day?" After all, they have to let go a little and with a little luck we will all stop crying by lunchtime.

Ahhh...be careful little mouth what you say.

Ellie is about to start preschool. We visited one school yesterday and will see another one on Friday. She went to a few weeks of Mother's Morning Out at the local Baptist church this summer and loved it. It was kind of bittersweet watching her go. On the one hand, being so proud that she is confident enough to go bravely into a new adventure, and on the other hand hating the fact that she is growing up and away so quickly. But this time I am faced with choosing a school for the whole year. I am weighing the benefits and drawbacks of full-day vs. half day, curriculum based vs. discovery learning, and location, location, location. The school we saw yesterday was really nice and the people seemed very in-tune with her. I like their discipline policy(no over-use of time out) and the fact that they are a Christian school and incorporate those values into their approach with the children. But, they are a full-day school where she will nap and eat her lunch...all away from me for two days a week. This gives me a lump in my throat the size of a grapefruit. The other school we are to see is a half-day program that operates as a parent co-op (each parent goes to the school one day a month to help in the classroom). I like that too. Decisions.

How do you always make the right choice for your child? How do you just turn them over to people who have no idea how precious they are to you? How do you just walk out and go about your day while the love of your life is far across town singing and learning and possibly getting really familiar with the time-out chair? How do you just leave?

I know what I told the parents all those years. Made sense at the time. I know she will be fine. I know she will LOVE it, as she loves everything. I know how lucky I am that she is the kind of personality that she is...very interested in new things and new people and not clingy and insecure. I know all this...but my heart still aches a little. A lot.

Then again, it will be nice to have some time. It will be good for her to have some time away from me, too. So, I will pray for her as I always do, and I will pray that I make the right decision. I will pray that her teachers are patient and loving and that she is safe. And I will start to let go, just a very little bit.

I just can't promise that I won't be one of the ones hanging around in the hallway after the door is closed. And I will be watching, hoping I like what I see.

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.-- Havelock Ellis

Why I love my Ellie

I tend to get a little mushy when it comes to the love of my life. That's ok, though...I waited 36 years for her, so I feel like I'm entitled. She just amazes me everyday. I feel so lucky to be the one God chose to watch her grow and learn. She teaches me, too, along the way. She helps me remember that the simple things in life are the greatest---like going to the "wimmy pool" with her, eating ice cream cones, and laughing about the silly songs we make up. We, as adults, get so caught up in the particulars of life. I think children are God's way of telling us to slow down and look around us...and to embrace and feel blessed by the wonderful things we already have. Please do that today. Hug your babies, no matter how old they are...and say a prayer of thanks that they are in your life.

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. ~John W. Whitehead, The Stealing of America, 1983


Recent "Ellie-isms":

Wimmy pool -- swimming pool, for this she needs her...
Bay-suit ---she has a Dora one, a poohbear one, a Cinderella one, and a few others.
My quinn --you can guess who this is :)
Wizzard--Not from Harry Potter. These are the little green creatures she and Poppy go out looking for.
Tiny Baby -- a trick to make Auntie E rescue her from whatever her evil mother is trying to get her to do, i.e., nap, bath, etc. E carries her around wrapped in a blanket while she points directions with her foot. Spoiled? Nah.
"Dus a minute, I on the puter"--she is where she isn't supposed to be (at my computer) and trying to deflect my attempts to talk her down by acting like she is really busy. Sometimes I even check to see if she is. She's very convincing.