Rules for boys

Well, here we are, day #1. Everyone is where they should be...the boys at school and Ellie napping. The cat finally showed her face and is sleeping on the couch. This morning went pretty well, considering the people I was dealing with. Ellie woke the boys by jumping on their bed, but they were up and around faster than I thought they would be. A good start. We even negotiated having breakfast at home so that they could go to school just a little later. Quinn especially liked this, as his first words to me this morning were, "Hey woman, what's for grub?" Charming. He requested pancakes and sausage -- easy enough. So, they all ate together and I think I only heard the word "stupid" one time. Maybe twice. Quinn was dressed and ready (I thought) but Caden dragged his feet a little. After lighting a small fire under his butt, he was dressed too. A quick inspection of the two reminded me why you never take a little boy's word that he has completed any hygiene task. Here are the "boy rules" as I see them:

1. If my skin is wet, I have had an adequate shower.

2. If my toothbrush is wet, I must have brushed my teeth. You can further prove this to your aunt by taking the cap off of the toothpaste and showing her the opening while saying "See?"

3. Combing hair is an option usually reserved for people who want to look like a "president" or "fancy" You do not have to be fancy in the second grade, or the seventh apparently.

4. Two pairs of underwear worn at the same time make your pants feel "puffy".

5. "Put your plate in the sink" can be translated to "shove the plate about 5 inches from where you just finished eating, wipe your mouth on your shirt, and look for the TV remote."

6. Carrying your backpack to the car is very tiring and time consuming. Try begging someone to do it for you. If that doesn't work, let it slide down the stairs on it's own and pick it up at the bottom.

7. "Shot-gun!" is a four-letter word.

8. There are 1,000,000,000 different ways to sing the Coca-cola jingle on the way to school.

9. Never ask "do you think that girl is pretty?" loudly with the window down while a seventh grade boy gets out of the car.

10. There has to be something at Barboursville Elementary that you can buy with a dollar.

All in all, a good morning. We got through all these little challenges, and they even did what I told them to, eventually. No one was bleeding when they left and I haven't booked a flight home yet. Let's hope the afternoon goes as well.